"Geesi dhereb kuma jiro"

Sunday, December 20, 2009

My invisible friend, Allah!

Despite not having ever seen or heard my invisible friend Allah, I am pretty darn sure he exists. He doesn't just live up in the sky sitting on a throne as the Quran dictates, he is so everywhere that he is even living in our own heads. My invisible friend Allah;

- cannot be seen or heard (but we're pretty sure he exists!)

- turns water into wine

- makes snakes talk

- designed judgement system similar to previous groups'

- damnation is his will

- doesn't send people to hell - they do, by not following his medieval rules

- he gifts those whom he prefers, keeps list of who's naughty and/or nice

- watches over us when we sleep

- his name's Arabic, preferred language that we all must learn bits of to worship him

- he is vengeful and displays basic human emotions almost in line with that of Arabs'

- brings corpses come to life, people can live inside snakes, other miracles!

- deems praying to a black stone in Arabia mandatory

- perform paganistic rituals like the stoning of the devil at Mecca

- obligates that we visit Saudi Arabia with our meagre resources

- peculiarly resembles other gods of the ancient Mid Eastern peoples

- rewards killers (martyrs) with 72 virgin Arab women called Xuural Cayn

- allegedly made man and woman from clay

- prefers that women dress head to toe or they'd be raped and burnt in hell

- commands that we convert others to his righteous path despite him creating all

- demands that the key to heaven is to live similarly to 6th century Arabs

- prefers that Somalis essentially become Arabic drones

- has no regard for others' ethnicity, they must mi mick Arabs and think like them

- we must ignore the contradictions and inconsistencies because it's his will

- spend out life time appeasing the dead Arab he chose - Maxamed

- beheadings, stonings, cutting limbs, ignorance, etc are his favorite discourse

- all other religions of the world are wrong and he will take his revenge

- everything that doesn't make sense is his will, he's simply testing us

- prefers we remain ignorant or knowledge will corrupt our souls

- kids aren't born knowing him, we must teach them from birth on, make them fear him

- always be concerned with Arab political situations, fight for them if you may

- change your name to an Arabic one, Cabdi, Maxamed, Axmed, Cali

- disregard all else in this world and solely obey him, he knows best

- human advancement is corruptive

- human rights are against his will, especially matters pertaining to women

- rain is his piss and not condensation, that's how Divine he is, imagine heaven!

- he lives in the sky just above the clouds and has massive human features

- earth is flat, as is consistent with the time the Quran was written

- sky is like carpet and will be folded on day of his judgement

- he transcends border/geography and does not recognize human laws, only his

- Taliban signify his preferred modus operandi of living for us on earth

- killing non believers is part of his play book

- utter disdain for all that isn't Arabic/Islamic

- Jews are evil, ditto Christians, all others

- the West is enemy number one - 'til another enemy emerges

- whereas other religions use love, he uses fear, in concert with Quranic times

- never question the existence of the invisible Allah or you become his enemy

- allegedly created the universe but keeps a relentless eye on minuscule YOU!

- he causes all the good in the world - all bad is caused by others' actions

- elements of human needs are counter intuitive to his rules but obey them anyway

- if you fail at life refer to him, he'll guide you, plan B - redeemed as "sheekh"

- if others become advanced, declare war, for none could be better than the culumah!

- he is all knowing, all seeing, all merciful, all things

- always convince yourself and others he is there for you, lest ye be delusional

My invisible friend Allah is NOT imaginary. These contradictory and inconsistent versus in the Quran are his will and NOT fairy tales. You may read better written books in your life time, however, they are not Divine as the Quran. One must be fearful of Allah despite the flaws associated with a life time of "fear". He uses fire as primitive peoples have but had he possessed nukes he'd probably make it his prime instrument for fear.


  1. What a trash! Don't you have anything else to mention instead of being obsessed Muslim and what they obviously believe? You're making fool out of yourself. Perhaps talking about your newly found religion aka atheism, and what you have attained so far, would be more splendid than what you're into at this point in time? Cuz when one gets obsessed with only one thing one loses the source of his usual sense and whatever that person writes becomes trash, just like you. You might try your being Diinlaawe next time as I my advice you.

  2. I take it you have no questions regarding the content you've just read? Also, atheism isn't a religion, it's lack thereof.

    Theism = belief system
    Atheism = lack thereof